The Day I Felt Sorry for Myself

I had a bit of a rough day this past Saturday.  I realized that I was almost 33 weeks pregnant and I just can’t keep up with my old self.  I have been feeling extremely fatigued lately.  I got my blood results back a couple weeks ago and my iron levels are normal, so I can’t even blame it on that.  I have to go with the fact that I’m late in my pregnancy, sleeping sub-par, have 25-ish extra pounds on my frame and those factors just make me so darn tired!

I was in birth class last week and the teacher was talking about how labor is similar to doing something really physically exhausting — like running a marathon.  She said that it’s physically and mentally tiring, but once it’s over, it’s the most amazing thing ever!  I was thinking about that and I have run 4 marathons, but I have to REALLY think hard about myself ever doing that since it’s been so long since it’s happened (May 2010).  It actually made me a little sad because that was such a huge part of my life at one point and now I can’t even picture myself doing it.  I have gained so much in my life, but I feel like I lost a little part of me too.  During the class I told David that I have to run another marathon to prove to myself that I can still do it.

Fast forward a couple of days and I was on the treadmill (wishing I was running) waddling through 3 semi-hard miles.  When I got off the treadmill, I had big plans for the day.  I needed to work on some business stuff and some other internet stuff and then I needed to run some errands and one of David’s friends was going to come over to watch the Bronco’s game.  I found myself at home after the gym weepy because I had used all my energy already and ready to fall on the ground and take a nap!  I ended up getting more done than I thought I was going to, but that was under the influence of a chai tea.

Who knew this would make me so tired?

I used to push myself to do whatever needed to get done in the day plus some and I’ve realized at this stage in the game, that is no longer possible.  I don’t have an endless supply of energy these days, so I have to pick and choose my battles each day of what gets done.  I’m kind of excited for my nesting hormones to kick in and give me some energy to get some house projects finished.


Pregnant ladies or moms:  Have you ever been down on yourself during pregnancy?  

I feel like it’s a semi-normal emotion to have, but it’s a little frustrating (the most frustrating thing, however, is pregnancy brain!)

Good news I was over the pity-party by that night.

4 Responses to The Day I Felt Sorry for Myself

  1. Hi Ali
    I’ve only recetly found your blog and I am so glad I did, we are pretty much in the same boat. I am 32 weeks pregnant and have had an overall amazing pregnancy. During most of my pregnancy I have been able to maintain my workouts (except less intense and lighter weights and slowed down my running pace) But in the last 3 weeks I have had to slow down and take rests a whole lot more. If I go to hard in my workout (which really seems like nothing in comparison to what I was doing before I was preggo) I have no energy the rest of the day. What a huge adjustment it has been for me.

    But we need to realise that we are creating a human life inside of us, and we need to cut ourselves so slack. But don’t you worry, just a few more weeks to go and our little miracles will be here….and then we can get back to our usual training.

    I love reading your blog because we are going throw the same phases at the same time. Hang in there…we’re almost at the finish line:)
    Lindsey + baby

    • Thanks for your comment and reading the blog Lindsey! I was talking to my mom today and she said that soon I’m not going to have anytime for myself to not do anything, so I should enjoy. I never thought about that, but it’s true… there’s always time for busy-ness in life, but now is not the time. Congrats on your pregnancy:)

  2. Hello Ali,
    I just found your blog while looking to read about another woman’s pregnancy journey. I am actually at 17 weeks with my second baby, but you’ll be surprised how quickly you forget what each stage was like! I do, however, completely remember that as I got bigger and felt less and less like “myself” because I was literally, physically unable to do move at the same pace, I had these same feelings of frustration and loss. I can remember laying in bed crying after having running dreams and promising myself I would run again (and I did, I actually complete the Wildflower 1/2 Ironman in May, something I never would have done if I hadn’t had the motivation to move that I gained during my pregnancy!) Let me give you a little (kind of scary) advice as well as a little encouragement: If you think you can get less done now, just wait. Being pregnant is just the beginning of learning how to slow down and move a little less quickly through life, after the baby is born I had months of fighting to regain some semblance of the “getting things done” life I had before. It was stressful and frustrating and horrible until I finally realized I have a new life now. I learned how to slow down and put less on my plate. I learned to see time differently and extend the time table for when I expected to have things finished by. Once I was able to do that, I was Much happier and finally able to really enjoy the new life I have as a mom.
    I know that sounds scary- slowing down sounds horrible (at least it did to me), but believe me, you find ways, you learn to ask for help, you learn to let things go that don’t matter (this is key!), and it works out.
    One other thing! After your baby is born, give yourself a good month -more like two- before you start Really examining or judging your body and how it functions. I was so much more depleted physically than I ever could have imagined. Take your recovery slowly and don’t expect too much from yourself at first. And make sure you get plenty of calcium and vitamin d! When I started running again (finally!) I ended up with shin splints for the first time in my life (pushed too hard too fast) and I can’t describe how unhappy I was having to wait for them to heal to get back out there again after all the months I’d already waited!
    Good luck! You look beautiful! And thank you for your blog!

    • Thank you so much for your advice!! This really helps me to hear about other women and that my feelings are normal! Congrats with your second baby:) Thank you for reading the blog too!!

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